Definition of a Dad

According to the Oxford Dictionary, one of the definitions of the word Dad is 'a man who provides care and protection'


My children are part of a family that lives with a step-dad rather than there own birth father.  My eldest three children are from my first marriage and the youngest from my second.  They have adapted to this family arrangement since I met my now husband a year or so after I separated from my ex-husband.  The youngest of the 3 was about 3 years old then.  For them it is the norm.  It is the same for many of their friends and peers at school.


I know that when I married and had children I did not set out for the marriage to fail or my children to live separately from their birth father - that was not a conscience thought  but this is what happened.


I am not going to go into detail as to why it failed - I feel this would be unfair as the person concerned is not here to give their take on the story and I am not wanting to turn it into a tale of woe is me - it just had to end and I am a happier person for this.  If I was to share the details it would mean I had to think about an event that is in the past, as is he, and they both belong firmly there.


My children live with myself and my second husband and this has been the case for the last 7 years.  We have had to remould to form what is now a new family unit and this is not always a straightforward or easy path.  I still think it takes a real man (or woman) to take on someone else's children and treat them as your own.  It is not something I have had to do, I cannot know how it feels.


A hard part for me is not being able to reminisce about the children before my husband was with us - he could not remember the event or remember the feelings or the day the way I do - how could he?  I can tell him to include him and he is able to be a part because of that.


There is so much more on this subject that I want to write about but for now, with today being Father's Day, I just wanted to say please remember all the Step-Fathers as well as the Fathers today.  Because if we go by the definition above they do exactly as it suggests and for that I am grateful everyday.

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